No other city feels so BIG. The Coliseum, St Marks Cathedral, La Sagrada Familia - all are undone by the minute details that distort the beauty of their sheer size. In New York, such fussiness would be sniggered at. Here, the only interruption to sleek concrete and iron are the nuts and bolts that join them.
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The closest thing to "decoration" is the Empire State Building with its glaring steel eagle gargoyles - and without a giant ape or a caped crusader hanging from them, they look out of place. By night the whole city is transformed. Driving along the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway Wednesday night and staring across the East River at the gigantic skyscrapers in darkness was the closest I will ever come to a slumbering Leviathan snoring in the shallows. This was the city that wowed Fitzgerald with its, "flashing, dynamic good looks, its tall man's quick-step.
From the mirrored apex of the Chrysler building to the pulsating grid lights of the Marcy Projects. When the sun retreats the whole city sparkles like a pinstriped emerald. A crystal city standing proud where the unfathomable tide dissolves the shore. Older Posts Home. Subscribe to: Posts Atom. About Me ndeigman LONDON, United Kingdom I am a freelance film journalist based in London, and a feature writer for FAN THE FIRE magazine.
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The victim is usually tied up and then placed in a hole and buried. One of the most recent and disturbing uses of this form of execution was the Nanjing Massacre during World War II, when Japanese soldiers buried groups of Chinese civilians alive in what was referred to as the "Ten Thousand Corpse Trigger warning: this post may be disturbing Pretenders singer Chrissie Hynde made some remarks in a new interview with The Sunday Times that angered a lot of people. Hynde is currently promoting her memoir, Reckless: The Life Of A churchinnorthgower.com the book, she writes about her experience at age 21 when she was raped by an Ohio motorcycle gang On The Top Right Section of The Card, See an Image of Clare Grant. Clare Grant Sits on a Gold Throne with Red Cushions, and 2 Medusa Heads for Armrests. See an Arctic Fox on Top of The Backrest. Clare Grant is Nude Except for a Pair of Gold High-Heeled Shoes on Her Feet and a Red Pointy Witch's Hat on Her Head. See a Gold '34' on The Witch's Hat
In Contention. - churchinnorthgower.com Music blog. Why Earl Scruggs was the Beethoven of the banjo - A trip to North Carolina to study bluegrass yielded this lesson: Earl Scruggs was the greatest there ever was I spent a couple of months last year studyi Peter Bogdanovich. The King Vidor File - Part Two - This part consists of comments on some of his finest and most popular work, including The Big Parade, The Champ, and Street Scene, as well as one of his mo some required.
some required?AANGEL - It is sooooo great that I am covered in the December 08 issue of AANGEL. My firends and I, even my mom love this mag. It's awesome that they mentioned m Deep Media.
Columbia's first annual Digital Dozen: Breakthroughs in Storytelling awards - NOTE: This is the final post in the Deep Media blog. What began in as an experimental testing ground for The Art of Immersion-then a work in progress- Facebook for Nihilists - I like deactivating my Facebook but now and again I come back just to share work or get industry news.
The major premise, minor premise and conclusion are empty. So does JoeMyGod, natch. Basically, it will take another measure of bias and rightwing fraud for the Yes on H8ers to win this.
And they'll try to do just that. I could post more, like funny Tweets from peeps in the courtroom, but I gotta get to workwhere we'll post more articles daily. I'd rather not post more pics of the uglies from Yes on H8.
Instead, how about this? At Sundance Film Festival, Jon Hamm still bearded, literally and James Franco talked about gay marriage and its publicity in comparison to the Prop 8 trial and the subject of their new film together, Howlabout the obscenity trial over Allen Ginsberg's famous poem. Watch it at EW Online. Yes, I'm only using the Prop 8 trial to contextualize how sexy Jon Hamm is with a beard.
He could lose the golf cap, though. By the way, a repeat of Hamm's hosting of Saturday Night Live is on January It's not a rerun. It's a whole spankin' new show. But Damn! Jon shaved his beard for the show!
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He could have done a lumberjack sketch in the first half. Apparently, I'm not the only one obsessing about Hamm's hot beard. NY Magazine has two articles about it, Here and Here. Posted by Jim Provenzano at AM No comments: Email This BlogThis!
Friday, January 22, Crazy, for Beards, or The Tam Tam Club.
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I feel an obligation to share the utterly deranged perspective of Mr. Hak-Shing "Crazy" William Tamthe "hostile witness" in the Prop 8 trial. Tam claims that gays will eat your children, because he "read it on the internet. Right there, no matter how the Yes on H8 peeps wanna spin it. Tam's the freak who wanted to hide and cower after being a major cause for Prop 8, because somehow he thinks he'll be attacked by hordes of gay sex deviants.
He's why we can't see the trial, and have to resort to staged recreations, drawings and file footage. Crazy insane freak Tam makes the 12 Galaxies guy seem normal by comparison. Oh, and the California election was fixe according to this report, largely ignored by just about everyone. But I really just want to share the glorious manliness of actor John Hamm, and his fantastically manly bear seen at Sundance at the premiere of Howl.
James Franco plays poet Allen Ginsberg. Hamm plays a lawyer, not Jack Kerouac, unfortunately. I don't even know who plays Kerouac. I just know that a recreation of the occasional sex between Ginsberg and Kerouac as portrayed by Franco and Hamm, after being viewed, would have turned millions of straight men gay.
In which case, then maybe this Tam guy would be proven right, in some odd way. Wednesday, January 20, Useless. What's more useless than a failed presidential candidate? The wife of a failed presidential candidate? His loudmouth daughter? Or a useless PR campaign of glossy photos glamorizing silence in the face of marriage equality that features said wife and daughter?
If you're wondering why gay marriage is floundering nationwide, the No H8 "campaign " is a prime example. At first I thought it was related to some actual fundraising group that did something not that any of them did such a bang-up job anyway. But then it became clear that it's just about Adam Bouska's career, and his need to turn his deep thoughts on marriage equality into a series of what seem to be shampoo ads.
Fortunately, thousands of Z-list "celebrities" on dipwad reality shows and more than a few porn sluts made time in their "busy" schedules to show they like the gays! How revolutionary. Their latest coup? Getting probable Cylon Cindy McCain and her stout daughter to seem to protest something, particularly the gay marriages their respective husband and father want banned, eliminated and outlawed.
Now that their political clout is below that of a traffic cop, they're being "bold" by getting their hair over-styled and putting some no-doubt easily removable duct tape over their maws. As one anonymous person online succinctly typed: "The No H8 campaign is am embarrassment. An orgy of narcissism, self-promotion and vacuous political symbolism. It's part of the reason Proposition 8 opponents were unable to defeat the bill: stupid Californians opted for the - churchinnorthgower.com of celebrity endorsements instead of building coalitions.
As for the photographs, what's the point? How does an overlit, heavily airbrushed - churchinnorthgower.com shot with masking tape express the pain and disappointment of Prop 8? This wasn't a freedom of speech issue. The photos don't even express pain; everyone looks beautiful, boys show off their biceps and girls show off their cleavage.
The message is: join our cause, it's like being a celebrity! It has all the substance of an American Apparel advertisement. You look so pretty while feigning a protest. Monday, January 18, Scene, and Heard. Justice should not be seen or heard, according to the fatfaced pigheaded reichwing bigots behind Prop 8 and their money-laundering corrupt Mormon demon leaders. But moi, opinionated? Don't take it from me.
With Both Hands, Jeri Ryan Holds a Glowing Green Crystal Skull on Her Lap. To Jeri Ryan's Left, See a Pale White Woman with Bronze Hair. The Pale Woman Stands on a Bronze ''. The Pale Woman is Nude Except for Black Roller-Skates with Blue Wheels, White Tube Socks with 2 Blue Stripes on Each Sock and a Black Masquerade Mask Cast: Jean Dujardin, Gilles Lellouche, Celine Sallette, Cyril Lecomte, Marseilles, in the s, was the heroin capital of the world. Post-war migration saw an influx of Corsican mobsters to the sleepy industrial port city, who brought connections to Turkish opium, and opened up the lucrative American market A one-time Cosmopolitan nude model who claimed President Obama is a Friday, January 15, Phucked-up Phundy Phlips Out. Unrepentant lying scuzz bucket Pat Robertson had his flaks spit out a as do other Christian NOMnuts, that "evil" begets disaster, as witnessed by other walking Jeebus-corpse cultists like dead Falwell, who blamed 9
Enjoy the soon-to-be enacted transcripts of the Prop 8 Trial, produced by John Ireland. Ireland produced and directed a short film entitled, Finding Family: Gay Adoption in the U. org, a media education campaign to put real faces on the issue of marriage equality. This is such a zeitgeist moment! Many people were already discussing this possibility, and Ireland stepped up. We live in a society where, now more than ever young people have access to pretty hardcore stuff with smartphones, internet etc and studies show it is affecting how people are viewing sex and sexuality.
Rape culture promotes this idea as well, and it hurts men. Nobody asks for it, just like nobody barring true mental illness or drug use is an uncontrollable beast, a mere slave to their base drives. It really does hurt men, I always wonder why men dont push harder against it. I mean this is the reason why any man near a child, especially a female one, is considered a potential molester.
I was thinking the same thing. A guy who will help an obviously incapacitated girl find her girlfriends and get some water. So no, men are not all controlled by their genitals. This is exactly the point. Sienna Yes THIS! Rar it makes me soooo mad!!! Just ask. If you both say yes then go for it. If during sex one of you says No I changed my mind then STOP. How difficult is it to teach that?! So mad at CH for being so irresponsible with her words.
So much for just looking out for women. Then, of course, their are the ones who have either committed a sex crime themselves, or might have a loved one or acquaintance who has been accused of doing so, and love this victim-blaming argument because it makes them feel justified.
maybe I was naive or could have made better choices. Otherwise, you will always be a victim. This is her way of taking ownership of a horrific event in order to move on.
I took it to be somewhat like how you avoid getting your purse snatched or how to avoid looking like a good mugging target. It did sort of sound like at times that she might be talking about taking precautionary measures adults could take, but, yeah, she worded her point all weird.
I wonder how much the generation she comes from impacts her viewpoints.
if she sought out therapy at that time, would the therapy at that time have made her put the blame on herself? Those questions went through my mind. This is an argument my mother and I have a lot. My mom is almost 70 so this might be a generational thingbut my mom really does think that women have a responsibility to not put themselves in a dangerous situation, whereas I think we need to teach men from the time they start becoming curious about girls that female bodies do not exist for male consumption.
In other words, women need to look out for ourselves and men need to stop raping. The problem I have with that mentality is that rape so often happens in existing relationships or even on a date. Date rape, spousal rape, or even a woman being raped by a male friend is FAR more common than a woman being attacked late at night and being raped by a stranger or being raped by a bunch of drunken men at a party.
Additionally, I hate it when people talk down to women like this. I took it that way too and that she simply didnt word herself well. Maybe what shes trying to say is, no, its not your fault and this is wrong, but thats not an excuse to not be cautious. And I can respect that. Im just trying to be as empathic as possible because I have never been raped or abused sexually, and she has.
I think its really, really wrong of me to act like I know better than her and tell her how to cope. She went through something horrible and found a way to cope with it - lets not make her feel bad about her coping now. You were asking for this person to come by and burn down your house. How much did you drink? Were you flirting? Not for nothing, rape and domestic violence happen disproportionately to women.
Not sure about the stats in the USA but here, practically everyone I know has been robbed in some way or another at very least twice.
I think she might have a point somewhere and it just got lost in very unfortunate wording.
This is where she lost me. I like Chrissie. I like The Pretenders, but she worded her comments horribly, although I think I understand what she was trying to accomplish. Kitten Agree with your comment. Just wanting to add for the general discussion.
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It means you know the identity of your attacker. That you are familiar with them. Coworker, friend, neighbor. Date rape actually does specifically refer to rape when there is, has been or could have been a romantic or sexual relationship of some sort between rapist and victim. Kitten was correct in her usage. Society forces women Into an unsustainable situation: men supposedly are good people, superior in every way and to be trusted.
What part? Not providing consent? Even if a woman is drunk, there is no proper consent. Why are you trying to rationalise her illogical comment? There is NO rationalisation for rape. It is wrong. It is a crime. Exactly - why not re-educate the attackers AND teach risk-reduction? A two-pronged approach for maximum effect.
In domestic violence cases they usually court-order courses for the perpertrator AND offer counselling for the victim. The rapist ALWAYS being at fault and the moral high ground NEVER protecting you from being assaulted and not mutually exclusive concepts. How do you think this attitude will help? If you want a better analogy, we teach abstinence and safe sex reduces pregnancy.
Why not teach that not getting drunk around strangers reduces your chance to be a victim? Neither will teaching prevention, but hopefully they can both reduce it. I liked what Kitten said above, about teaching males that the female body is not there for their consumption. I will do double duty to make sure that message is crystal clear to my son. what kitten says is SO important. most rapes are in the hands of men we trust, in a way or another.
men need to be taught about consent first and foremost, everything else comes after. No, but some are and those situations can often have been prevented. I have been raped by 3 men in my life - a babysitter when I was 9, a boyfriend when I was 23 and a friend of a friend at I have been involved in 4 different support groups for rape survivors and have numerous other friends who are survivors.
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Every single one of those people knew their attacker. J- Telling women to not put themselves in dangerous situations is still less effective than teaching men not to rape. As long as we perpetuate this idea that women can somehow avoid getting raped, we are still putting the onus on women. The conversation has ALWAYS been about lecturing women to be safe. You know, before I moved to the city and went off to college, my parents gave me the standard lecture about being safe, not getting drunk, not going home with strangers, etc.
Of course, my brother is a feminist and a wonderful man, but my point still stands. We should be able to feel safe knowing that if we make a bad decision, men will be our allies and protect us, instead of harm us. I very much want that too and I think it should be the priority.
I know there have definitely been instances where some sort of internal alarm of mine has sounded and I acted upon it, whether it was swiftly removing myself from the situation or just being wary and not drinking. Whether or not those situations would have resulted in me getting raped had I acted otherwise, I have no idea.
This sort of false dichotomy just seems pointless to me. And I also think both cts should be taught to both sexes. I feel you, J. Obviously, teaching the men is more important. However, I wonder if we could manage to teach women some safety tips which, to be honest, we probably all got at some time when we were growing up and self-defense tactics, without giving the implication that you are somehow at fault for any attack.
But neither of those two obvious realities change the very basic fact that one in five women is sexually assaulted. Maybe, but I believe the difference would be negligible at best. What could they have done differently to avoid that? Second, for the women who are raped by strangers, do you really think that these men are easily deterred?
A woman who is attacked in her home while she were sleeping by a stranger who broke her door down, what would you suggest she do differently to avoid that? A woman who runs the same 4 mile loop at 6 AM every morning for 15 years without incident and one morning a man attacks her, do you really think that she could have somehow prevented that? The truth is that a lot of rape victims are not victims because they were careless, they were simply victims of bad luck.
Women are NOT stupid. The conversation has ALWAYS been that women need to watch out, and guess what? We know that already.
Hell, even by your own admission women have a natural internal alarm. Personally, I think we need a HUGE cultural shift that puts the focus squarely on male behavior and the systemic issues that come along with a rape culture. We need to go way over to the opposite end of the spectrum in order to make our point. The aim should be on changing male behavior and it should be repeated over and over again until it becomes the norm, like the norm for women has always been to watch out for bad, scary men.
Kitten Completely agree with you. And it makes me mad as hell. Not to be sexist, but most of these boys have an influential woman in their life, probably. My own parents never talked to my brothers about rape that I know of. Maybe everyone assumes that? But I completely agree with the need for a huge cultural shift. GNAT and Kitten, of course you are right. We are taught to be careful from early on. That is already the case and not going to change.
But men being taught not to rape is NOT happening enough yet, I also want our girls and women to know that it is not their fault whatever happens.
Exactly, GNAT. The other day when we went to the football game my boyfriend parked in a huge parking lot to buy a cooler in a liquor store. The lot was on a major route and it just feltexposed. I immediately locked the doors. I remember having a conversation with my brother a long time ago where he described walking along a road at night and approaching a woman who was also walking alone. He wanted to know what he should do to make her feel safer, how should he act?
I said that he should cross the street and stare straight ahead. These are the things we should be talking about: what should men do to make women feel safe. That does NOT mean that women should be lulled into a false sense of security, it just means that men so often take their privilege for granted and never stop to think about how women live on the defense at all times.
We have common sense, you know? You practice no making yourself vulnerable like walking down that dark alley instead of the well lit street. And you can still be attacked. At my university in the early nineties we had an issue with a flasher, who was obviously escalating he had attempted to grab a woman. So the university published guidelines about how women could be safer and it included all the usual suspects-never go anywhere alone, call a male friend to escort you if you have to be at the library late at night, take a self defense class etc.
So the feminist organization on campus put together a counter list of things men could do to help the women in their lives feel safer. Call a woman to escort me from the library? It was interesting to me that the list for women, the de facto list we had already read a million times, because people we loved were helping us to avoid danger, was either a joke or an insult when turned around and presented to men. It seems to be gone now, but I like what you said about teaching your sons.
The importance of teaching boys to respect their female peers and not feel entitled to sex cannot be overstated. However, I wonder if boys are also taught the dangers of getting blackout drunk?
I ask because when I was in college it was common enough for two people to get rip roaring drunk together and not really remember what happened the next day. Even if neither person feels violated by what happened, they could easily not remember whether there was intercourse, whether a condom was used - and in the 90s that meant waiting 3 months to get an HIV test because it took that long for a test to be accurate. The idea that a man would call a female escort is a FANTASTIC one but is any of us surprised that men would be resistant to it?
There are still men who are resentful of the idea that women might be afraid of them. If a man wants to show us what a harmless, benign, and good guy he is, then he should consider changing how he acts around women, much like how women have historically been conditioned to change the way we act around men.
Amy Tennant Thank you. It felt like the term belittled how severe the crime was in my take. Aquaintance is exactly what it is. I was four years old, I had not started primary school yet, so what responsibility do I need to take for my part in the event.
And yes I was naive because, again I was four. I was so short I had a little plastic step to stand on to reach the wash basin in our bathroom, I had to stand on that to try to clean myself after what he had done to me. It breaks my heart how many other commentators here have stories like mine to share, I want to wish you all strength, peace and happier lives, I hope you have people you love and love you the way you all deserve.
Oh Zapp, you did a great job of painting that picture.
To this day I still have rage issues. Hugs and love to you. I went on a blind date, and he was a good friend of a good friend. He was I thought driving me home, but instead drove me to his house and said he wanted to show it to me. He held there until in the morning. It was so stupid of me to go in there. I felt something was wrong, and I submitted for the most ridiculous reason. I take responsibility for that and will never make that mistake again. But I take ZERO responsibility for what he did.
That was him being a sick, entitled f ck. The fact that I made a stupid move in no way excuses what he did. end of. I think we need more awareness of this kind of sexual assault. We are trained from a young age to be polite. I will deal with any fallout from them saying no. No one is ever responsible for someone else forcing their will on the person.
I ended up pregnant, had an abortion. To all who have posted heart wrenching personal stories, my sympathies for your pain and my admiration for your courage. hugs to all. GNAT My heart goes out to you. I have no words, but your account left me very teary. Especially reading So Many accounts of attacks. And while i hesitate to type this going along is sometimes the safest way to ensure your survival in a fearful and dangerous situation. To fight back can leave you with enough evidence to prove this was against your will, but who makes a conscious choice for that?
I fought back. And I still had no control. You and everyone else did what they had to just to survive. Thank you to everyone for responding and for everyone on thread who shared their stories and showed such empathy for others.
And FLORC, thank you for your kind words. I had never really thought about it that way. It makes me so angry, exhausted and sad that we have to live our lives trying to explain to people like Chrissie why her words are so harmful. I really wish everyone here who has been hurt lots of healing and love. I hope she thinks about what she said and finds the courage to admit that it was then, is still and ever shall be out of her control if someone else decides to rape.
Your opinion has been the societal norm for thousands of years. Did I just get raped? no means no. No survior of rape is responsible for being raped. It seems to me she may be trying to take the control back they took from her. Protective mode. But still nonsense. No survivor of any kind of trauma is responsible for anything especially being raped.
But the survivor is responsible for telling themselves that they are not at fault and fight for my strength as a human being. I have never been sexually assaulted but I have been sexually harrased by a man who would do and say anything derogatory towards me, because he saw a pretty young woman and wants to have sex when he feels like, because I am a silly young woman that will not answer back.
I am not blaming any rape victim, I am saying rape survivors that you have the power to not let this trauma get to you, even if it takes a while, you are strong enough to fight the fight. The rapist are the ones who responsible for the crimes, not the victims. She should speak for herself,not other victims. She also was in relationships where she was beaten. Overly forgiving with men and overly critical of women.
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Wtf is wrong with men? Then I pity her. Really disappointed in her. Risk mitigation is one thing. The person who commits the crime is the one to blame. She is an idiot. Rape is about the absence of consent, not clothing. Maybe she feels like this type of controversy will help her comeback. No one should go through what this woman endured. And most do. Yep, men and everyone else definitely have enough self-control to not sexually assault someone just because skin is showing or just because they find that person sexually attractive.
There was a recent article in the Daily Mail about the genocide in the Ukraine in the 40s and there were sickening pictures which included Jewish women- who dress modestly- stripped, beaten and raped, with the men around them leering and laughing. There is genocide going on right now in Nigeria, the Middle East and Asia, where women in BURKAS are being attacked and raped. How much more modest can you be than a Duggar, and their psycho brother went after them.
Rape is caused by rapists. Heaven forbid anyone is in that situation, it will still never be their fault. Way to go, Chrissie! Putting the blame for violence and sex crimes firmly on the shoulders of the victims, where it does NOT belong.
What a crock of shit. Just because a woman has on a short skirt or has too much to drink does not mean she is inviting a man to rape her. I was a huge Chrissie Hynde fan and thought she was such a bad ass until she opened her stupid mouth. Guess I was totally wrong about her. The sad part is that she has two adult daughters. You have to wonder what was she telling them about her experience.
I hope they set her straight and are okay. It is only today- about years after the fact that I am really grasping that being raped by neighborhood boys the leader was 9 or 10; I was 5 or 6 was truly not because of anything I did. My entire life I have secretly believed it was some deep dark stain on my young self bc I somehow brought that on me. AS IF I came up with idea to have them shove a bottle up inside me. AS IF I came up with the idea to be poked and prodded and laughed at and left in the dirt and bushes to get myself dressed.
I can not believe it took me this long Even yesterday after initially reading her comments I compartmentalized my own early trauma. And the girl should ask the boy. If you are old enough to have sex you are old enough to get consent!!!!!!!!!! If you are too embarrassed to ask for consent- to make it crystal clear of your intentions- or the girl is too embarrassed or shy to give consent or articulate her intentions DO NOT HAVE SEX.
I felt this way too as a protective mechanism. In the course of the last 12 years having gone over and over the events of that night, I have ultimately seen how my own troubles, my self-abnegation and self-destructive tendencies played a role. There were many red flags that night that I ignored; I was delivered into the hands of these men already feeling very powerless.
I have also found my way to forgiving those men, because I cannot imagine how alienated from love one must have to be to commit such a sociopathic act as drugging a girl and passing her around like a rag doll corpse. HOWEVER big big howeverNOBODY other than me can say this to me or for me. I love Chrissie Hynde and this just kills me.
Also giving you a hug, Gggggg. I agree with never telling any other rape survivor what to do or what she could have done to supposedly avoid being raped; I also agree that sometimes ALL of us have made choices that were very naive in retrospect.
On the one hand you feel sorry for her because of her experience and see how it could be easy for her or anyone else to internalize that kind of sexist, victim-blaming garbage. That makes it doubly wrong for you to say something like this because a lot more people will hear it and either internalize themselves or will use it to justify their own rape culture-supporting political beliefs and get on their soapbox about it. I think celebrities and politicians need to be more responsible about the things they say.
I saw the Pretenders live in a small venue and Chrissie was a bummer, making political PETA remarks between songs, being antagonistic. And she sang along with a vocal track, which was disappointing. It is powerful to publicly disclose what happened to her.
She was young and naive, but that does not equal being responsible for being gang raped. Her thoughtlessness and insensitivity is what is irresponsible. But, PLEASE get some help. That line of thinking completely wipes away the real reason for rape. Its not about the actual act of sex, rape is about feeling power and control over a woman.
I was raped at Attacked in my car. I never dressed provocative or asked for it. She believes the old myth that if a woman is raped its because somehow they asked for it. These people that make public comments on a subject really need to think before they speak. Otherwise, they come off sounding like idiots. I echo the sentiments already expressed- that Chrissie needs some help to deal with her own trauma. I hope she gets it. In the meantime, I am very worried for the 2 girls from India who have been sentenced to be raped because their brother married outside his caste.
The fact that two innocent young girls have been sentenced to be punished for what their brother and another person did is unconscionable. oh thank you, I read he actually married, not just that they ran off together. thanks for the clarification. This is exactly the problem! ALL OF THE GUILT is with the rapist. These a-holes count on women blaming themselves, and society parsing responsibility. Complete crap.
Of course it is rape. As poorly enforced as those laws often are, they are still in place. So there is something to build on, to make sure those laws ARE enforced and that means making noise about it, because people, men AND women, have to be inculcated to be nonviolent through our schools, religious organizations and etc.
Being naive, stupid, young or whatever is not a crime, neither an excuse for rapists to brutalize anyone. This makes me sad. I just wish that she understood that her platform and her voice give her a responsibility toward other women.
She does immense harm to rape victims with these kinds of statements. Women and girls everyday in many parts of the world are made to shoulder the entire moral responsibility of their communities and are often even killed as punishment for their own rapes or forced to marry their rapists. The comments this woman has made are merely a variation on that same theme.
ugh, I think she could have made a good point but just ruined it with the way she said it. in many cases, we are powerless, unfortunately. are important. That seems more puritanical and unnecessary. I doubt there is any evidence that a woman who dresses provocatively is more likely to be raped despite taking other precautionary measures.
I think what Hynde says is true in some cases but of course not all cases. Why offer your sexy assets and not expect sexual advances?
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Where there are drugs and alcohol involved why unleash what might be uncontrollable animal instincts? I think as adults we do have responsibility in choosing the types of people, crowd, places with which to associate.
Prostitutes are raped all the time and it is NOT their fault. We do have those choices, but the majority of women and men who are raped will be raped by someone they know. You put the responsibility on the criminal. We have laws, rape is illegal, obey the law.
The end. Not for men or society, but for ourselves. It has nothing to do with the assumption of being safe. Bad things happen all the time. It has to do with guilt, which is always on the rapist. No matter what. I posted my comment in response to an American celebrity as an American myself.
Just say, do, dress whatever and however you want without having to face the consequences. But reality rarely works this way. And thinking this way does not serve or empower women. I for one am very grateful to have the freedom to restrict myself the way I see fit rather than being forced.
Maybe if there were realistic and careful discussions amongst women about the ways in which human nature can harm and less avoidant and delusional ones, the resulting awareness would pass onto girls.
When I was assaulted I was wearing a turtleneck, cardigan, and khakis. Were they wearing something to provocative? Showing off that sexy ankle? I never thought about the idea of the locus of control mentioned above that it is easier sometimes to blame oneself.
If it all comes down to being provocative, then why do children get raped? Why do elderly people in wheelchairs get raped? In a weird way, that realization helped me value myself more.
Of course women should be able to wear whatever they want and men should just NOT rape them. I have been a huge fan of hers since the beginning and was appalled by her words. Thank you Bedhead for seeing that she may have only been able to cope with this attitude.
She has always come off so tough and able to take care of herself and anyone else who came along. Maybe that is why. I hope she gets some help because she is a talented woman, but her thought processes are messed up. I feel for all of you who are telling and for those of you who are not telling your own stories here.
I want to feel bad for her because obviously somehow she believed it was her fault, that if she had just made a better decision, it would not have happened. The amount of damage espousing this opinion could do in a society that still believes that rape is something you somehow bring on yourself is incalculable.
Rape is about violence and power, not sex. The fault of a rape rests squarely on the shoulders of the monster who committed the rape.
End of. Does this sound familiar? I also feel like as women all we do and are taught is to take responsibility. So much planning to mitigate the possibility of being assaulted. Want to go to a club downtown by yourself? Plan outfit, shoes Now where to park-ramps can be trouble zones but there are cameras everywhere at least it could be caught on tape! Leave earlier to avoid being on the road with all those drunk drivers?
Want to have more than 2 drinks? Walk to your car with your keys already out since you are most vulnerable when you are digging for keys or just hopped into your car.
Always assessing everyone for safety and never trust. Walk to the neighborhood convenience store for a snack after dark Watch everyone all the time. Cross the street if necessary.
And I see my male friends completely oblivious to this level of constant awareness. I had one male friend who never locked his car for some convoluted reason and was completely shocked when I tried to explain why I would never. Rapists gonna rape, and they know exactly how to manipulate - they are aware too.